Memories of my heart. ©

I lay in my bed

Thinking of all the things he said

all the things we did

all the nights laying in bed.

I miss those moments together

the days we actually spent

with real human contact.

To say I miss him

I would not know what to say

it seems my heart grew used

to the time we spent apart

the 1 year plus

of video calls, phone calls

and texting

distance broke us

our youth did not help…

With not enough money

he could not come

with no job, no longer,

I could not come

and eventually the relationship

began to fade,

I saw the cracks

I must admit

 I tried to fix what we had

but he did not understand

I will always wonder

is it me?

And I have to be  honest…

I think it is.

Since the ripe age of 18

my life has been

relationship 1, 2 and 3.

The little west country girls

feeling an emptiness

that only her real dad can fill.

No.1 didn’t work

No.2 didn’t work

No.3 didn’t work

They could not be dad

They could not fill this hole

This black hole in my heart.

Now at 22,

I must remember

What it is like to be me,

me, miss D.

The girl who used to be full of confidence

The girl who was so driven

The girl who needed no-one

but herself.

The girl who followed her dreams.

No. 1 is my close friend

No. 2 was my first love

No. 3 is the one I hope to remain in my life for eternity…but if not

No. 3 taught me to love him and be there for those closest.

And for that No. 3

Thank You.

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